29 September 2007

Ashley Naylon is a Bitch

Ashley, you're a piece of shit. I don't know why anyone likes you, or why you think you can be so picky. You're taller than most men, and you have a big, square, manly jaw. You should be grateful anyone would want a beast like you.

I'm glad you joined the National Guard, because that means you could get sent to Iraq, and Al-Qaeda could capture you and saw your head off on video. That would be the funniest thing ever.

03 September 2007

This Poem Sucks

This poem was written by a young woman on MySpace.
My heart

COVER IT IN DIRT.
THROW SALT ON THE WOUNDS.
BOUND IT WITH WIRE.
LOCK IT BY A KEY.
BURY IT DOWN DEEP.
SO NO ONE CAN SEE.
KEEP IT HELD TIGHT.
CLOSE TO MY CHEST.
I WILL ALWAYS PROTECT IT.
I WILL NEVER REST.
THE LOVE IS GONE.
NOT A SINGLE TEAR.
JUST BROKEN HEART.
AND AN EMPTY MESS.
Typical girls write shit like this when they're twelve or thirteen, but this one is about two months shy of 24. Any grown woman who writes embarrassing poetry after her boyfriend cheats on her needs to get out more.

If I had read this without seeing the woman who wrote it, I would expect her to be an ugly troll who scribbled it after finding out that the man she has been stalking just filed a restraining order against her.